UNITed Atlantis
by Jerex
Summary: Rodney and Sheppard argue while on the way to greet the new personel from EARTH partial crossover with Doctor Who, only the SGC would send UNIT troops to Pegasis, the Atlantis tour ends, abandoned
1. New Personnel

Atlantis Chronicles

**Atlantis Chronicles**

New personnel

Colonel Sheppard walks through the corridors of Atlantis on a mission to capture an errant scientist and lead him to the Deadalus – whistling tunelessly he arrives at Rodney's lab and leans against a wall while increasing the volume

Rodney storms out "I hate that" he moans

"What?" asks John smiling innocently

"You always play childish pranks, purposely annoy me when your bored, whistle out of tune and loiter around corridors waiting for your victims" declares Rodney counting them on his fingers

"How Dare You!" exclaims John "I don't whistle out of tune" he grins

Rolling his eyes Rodney replies "debateable but haven't you got something better to be doing with your time, I know I have despite how attractive exchanging witty remarks with you is"

"You don't have the wit anyway" smirks Sheppard '1 up to me' he thinks

Rodney glares daggers "shouldn't you be I don't know getting beaten up by Teyla or out ran by Conan or something?"

"Yeah, I like you have to meet the Deadalus its due back in 10 minutes" he starts to walk "you coming?"

Rodney follows him "so you were…"

John agrees "sent to collect you? Yeah"

"You do realise that I've never missed the Deadalus supply run yet" states Rodney dismissively

"If only to snag the caffeine and chocolate supplies" grins Sheppard

"Well why not you're always looking for new movies and toys"

John mentally sighs that round ended even

"Scared any scientists away lately?" asks a smirking Sheppard

Rodney glares at him'"hree scientists are leaving – have you used up your last allotment of marines yet or do we need more cannon fodder?"

'1 point to me 1 point to Rodney 1 all' thinks Sheppard

"Why do they keep sending us SGC rejects" moans Rodney switching the subject "I mean sure the SGC needs good scientists but surely there are enough intelligent people on the earth for both Atlantis and the SGC"

Sheppard nods having to agree with Rodney on that point some of the soldiers he'd been getting were full of themselves thinking that taking on the wraith is easier than fighting the Ori or the Goa'uld

"Why'd the scientists decide to leave or did you sack them?" smirks Sheppard

'1 up to me 2:1 go me, go me'

"Of course I didn't sack them" They fall silent and continue on their way to the docks

- Docks -

Doctor Weir greets them "John, Rodney"

"Elizabeth" greets Rodney "Hi Liz" smiles John in greeting

"So are we still only at three or have you been working on the science department" asks Weir a twinkle in her eye

Rodney scowls "yes we are only 'losing' three scientists and I use the term losing extremely loosely and I** don't **go out of my way to scare the new scientists away"

Doctor Weir is apologetic "I was only joking and we're not blaming you but…" she trails of

Sheppard jumps in "you and Barker hate each others guts" supplies John helpfully

At the mention of that name Rodney's features darken "Barker was an enigmatic idiot" he declares

"Doctor Barker was a leading physicist in his field on earth Rodney" reminds Weir

"His so called degrees were a joke" snarks Rodney

"Riiigght and it had nothing to do with the fact that you went to uni together – hated each other then, met each other in the academic world and opposed each others theories?" asks Sheppard who notices their looks and states "I did my homework on this one"

"Oh well…if he can't handle having the man with the superior intellect in charge that's his lookout" Rodney states

"And professor Ming and Doctor Templeton?" asks Doctor Weir

"Professor Ming was an ancient decrepit old fossil who everyone finds boring, and Doctor Templeton – she…she was" Rodney is at a loss for words

"You made her cry" Sheppard reprimands him.

"It wasn't my fault! She just couldn't handle constructive criticism" protests Rodney

"She ran screaming from the main lab balling her eyes out all the way across Atlantis to her quarters" Weir remembers

"Yeah several people – thought someone had tried to rape her" mentions Sheppard

McKay pales and splutters

"Don't worry when everyone found out it was just you been your usual charming self they were relieved" John pretends to be sympathetic

McKay glares at him

"Not to mention the psychological issues" comments Weir

John and Rodney look at each other and then at Weir confused

She sighs "Doctor Heightmeyer told me in confidence – that she had started making dolls of Rodney and sticking pins in them, dismembering them and finding other creative ways to destroy them" admits Weir

Rodney gapes like a fish while John looks amazed and try's to hide his glee

Rodney Splutters "DOLLS! Voodoo dolls of me!" he exclaims

Weir Shrugs "Kate thought it helped her – so she decided to ignore the more…" Weir struggles to find the right words

"Creepy, insane, warped, sadistic, evil" suggests the ever helpful Sheppard

"…The more unusual method used" continues Weir with a glare at John

"At least it puts Barker into perspective" claims Sheppard

"Barker" snarls Rodney "now he does deserve voodooing"

"Rodney you wouldn't really stick pins into a doll of Barker would you?" John asks him in a childish voice

"Dam right I would of course sticking pins into Barker would be better" Rodney says a far of look of utter joy on his face as he imagined causing Barker pain.

Weir shakes her head both frustrated and amused by their antics and notices trouble

"Enough!" she says commandingly "the dropouts have arrived" she indicates the door

Wrong thing to say Rodney turns round and in a loud voice "ahh speak of the Devil and he shall send his twisted minion"

Barker sneers "only one of us works for the Devil McKay and it isn't me" he snarls back

"Um as much as I hate to interrupt your discussion on Satan worship but you've had plenty of time to insult each other over this last month – say goodbye Rodney" Knowing the trading of insults could last all day John intervines

"Goodbye, get lost, and never return to my city again" hatred evident in Rodney's voice

The deadalus descends

"The feelings mutual" snipes Barker before been beamed onto the Deadalus

Doctor Templeton walks up to them, nods at Weir, ignores Sheppard and slaps McKay across the face 'How dare you mock my theories' she screeches before been beamed aboard the Deadalus

Weir is shocked while McKay remains rigid and Sheppard is smirking and trying not to laugh as Professor Ming sidles up slowly he is an elderly Chinese gentleman "And you" Sheppard manages to speak "think its boring here?" Ming nods dumbly and is beamed onboard

McKay and Weir look at Sheppard who notices

"What I didn't hit him?"

The beam technology activates again as Lorne arrives, beaming down the new personnel

They turn to face the new arrivals

'Hi' says one of the soldiers in an English accent


	2. Orientation

Orientation

Orientation

"Hi" one of the soldiers is smiling – his uniform Sheppard notices along with several others are different than usual, as well as the British flag there is another insignia with the initials U N I T a strange badge is also present on the hats worn by the soldiers

The soldier continues "so this is Atlantis never been in another galaxy before sir" he adds and salutes sloppily

"Sergeant" nods Sheppard knowing he's from England but that their was something else odd about him

"Sergeant Wing sir" supplies the soldier who grins at Johns uncomftableness "UNIT sir" he adds before following Major Lorne with the rest of the military detail on a tour of Atlantis

"UNIT?" asks Sheppard partly to himself

"United Nations Intelligence Taskforce – British branch apparently" clarified Weir

"UN biohazard taskforce" supplies McKay while running a stern eye over the new scientists

"What can we do with a clean up crew in Atlantis?" Sheppard asks out loud

Snorting McKay answers "we could use one with Kavanagh and his lackeys determined to cause as much damage to the city and the ancient tech as they can get their hands on – not to mention the mess they cause"

"You'd be surprised" a smiling Weir says to Sheppard

-Doctor Weir- calls Colonel Caldwell over the coms from the Deadalus

"Go ahead" says Weir into the coms

-We have some interesting developments back on Earth that you need to be brought up to speed on-

"I'll be in my office"

-Bring colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay as well, this is important- the transmission ends

Weir shrugs and turns to McKay but can't bare to interrupt his traditional, infamous "First Impression" speech to the newbies

"Now as newbie's you have a month to prove your worth or dropout, the Deadalus can take you back now if you can't handle the strain this is the frontline for the war against the Wraith not a picnic spot or a holiday made interesting by been in another galaxy if you show merit in a few months time you might lose the title of newbie. I expect every single one of you to pull your weight and accomplish a maximum 110 percent workload a select few of you doubtful as it is may be expected to accomplish more than this I my self work at about 250 percent on a slow day but I would expect a lower figure for you than most of us 'Veterans.' (Mimics air quotation marks.) If you don't like it leave if you think I am a heartless bastard congratulations on figuring it out so soon. I will ignore the insults as long as I don't here them any of them. However if you cross me I will put you on sewage control or water tank sterilisation duties until you leave or die whichever comes first" he glares at them "I am the chief scientist here I'm in charge I can be sadistic although I usually reserve that streak for Kavanagh but I can do that and will" he glares again "welcome to Atlantis now for the tour"

"Rodney!" Weir smiles in spite of herself

"Yes…this is Doctor Elizabeth Weir leader of Atlantis"

"We knew that" calls one of the scientists in an irritated voice "we have been briefed you know"

Glaring at him Rodney continues "my direct superior who cannot countermand my assignments of scientific teams" lowers his voice "if you push me or any other Veterans I and most if not all of the scientists that are already here will make your life or the lives of the group a living hell" looks back at Doctor Weir who pretends she didn't here Rodney

Sheppard is chuckling and trying to keep out of sight trust Rodney to turn Liz into an object lesson he always enjoys Rodney's clashes with the new eggheads

"Can you hand over the tour to Zelinka? Something has come up" she says

"I prefer to give my commentary personally but since Radek has a taped copy I made" he activates his com and talks in a low voice for a minute "he'll be here in a minute and I'll be right with you"

"Come to my office" she walks away "you too John, Caldwell has some gossip from the SGC for us"

John winces "Elizabeth the correct term is Intel"

She smiles at him "gossip or Intel it seems important" she heads towards her office as Radek arrives.

"Good did you bring it?" Rodney asks him

Muttering Radek replies "yes master just coming master"

Rodney's eyes narrow "I didn't quite catch that Radek"

"I have the tape here Rodney" sighs Radek while waving a small tape player

The new scientists are stunned they thought he was joking but the Canadian gate tech is amused it is obvious that the Atlantis personnel had seen Rodney do this before

"Good start it playing in…" looks at watch "20 seconds" to newbie's he says "I'd listen to that tape if I were you it'll save a lecture from me later" he walks away while the sound of his voice continues as Radek starts the tape "this is the Gateroom obviously never mess with the main screen without my expressed permission and no tinkering with the gate or DHD either….."

"Is he always like that" asks one of the other scientists in disgust over Rodney's voice (not an easy task to accomplish even if it's only a recording)

"Mostly" admits Radek

"Yeah I heard of his clashes at the SGC with Colonel Carter" mutters another scientist

"Sure he's embarrassed that a soldier is smarter than he is" smirks another

"Polib mi prdel Rodney may be an ass but he has saved this city and many lives more times than you could count you who do not have the right to berate his intelligence, you can insult him but not his right to be in charge" Radek declares fiercely "Zmrde zkurvenej this way" he starts off out of the Gateroom with the newbie's having to jog to keep up

- Weirs office -

Rodney's looking out the window and grinning as he watches the newbie's leave the gateroom

"Why is it that every scientist on Atlantis complains about you, insults you, loathes you but when the arrogant Sod's fresh from Earth arrive they won't let them insult you?" john asks him

McKay grins "that's a privilege they have to earn"

Colonel Caldwell beams in and everyone sits down

"What is this about" Sheppard asks him

"Pleease don't say it's the Gho'uld again" sighs Rodney

"No it's the United Nations" informs Caldwell

Rodney and John sit up and pay attention

Caldwell continues "they have been informed of the stargate program"


	3. Discussion

3) Discussion

3) Discussion

"The UN has been informed of the Stargate program" declares Caldwell

"Good for them" states Sheppard looks around "how are they taking it?"

"Does this effect us?" Weir asks him

"Not exactly" replies Caldwell "we've been given some support of some UNIT soldiers but the UN is not going tom interfere in the SGC or Atlantis"

"Excuse me for stating the obvious but United Nations? Aren't they going to make the Stargate public knowledge?" asks Rodney pointedly

"I don't think they are Rodney" replies Weir quietly

"That's correct they won't disclose the Stargate program" confirms Caldwell

"What's the catch" a suspicious Sheppard asks

"There isn't one unless you count the supply of UNIT soldiers, it seems already knew about the Stargate they found out about it years ago" declares Caldwell

"They knew? But why aren't they doing anything" demands Rodney

"They've promised not to disclose the Stargate to the public as long as we don't interfere or disclose UNIT to the public" answers Caldwell

Rodney and John are confused

"Apparently UNIT Created in 1967 its an anti-alien taskforce setup after an alien invasion in London" explains Caldwell

To Weir "you knew" accuses Sheppard

Weir smiles "yes I did"

Rodney realises "you worked for them didn't you?"

"Yes I've worked for the United Nations but I hadn't encountered Aliens during it"

"What were you doing?" Caldwell asks bluntly

Peers at him "not that it's any of your business but I negotiated a UN peace treaty UNIT doesn't just handle Aliens" Weir explains

"But you were told of Aliens" asks Sheppard

"Yes but I never really believed it until I joined the Stargate Program" Weir replies

"So are UNIT taking over?" asks Rodney "I mean is the Stargate program been controlled by the UN now?"

"Rodney you have the attention span of a nat Colonel Caldwell already said they wouldn't be interfering in the Stargate program" sighs Sheppard

"They've asked to be kept informed of the Stargate programs status" declares Caldwell

"What about the UNIT troops we've received?" demands Sheppard

"Since the Russians have an SG team UNIT asked for a British UNIT team at the SGC and Atlantis" replies Caldwell

"So they were told of Atlantis" asks Rodney

"We were going to tell them but they made the suggestion first" Caldwell states "as I said they already knew"

"You said they found out about the Stargate Program years ago" muses Weir

"Yes how do they know about it is there a informer in the SGC or something?" asks Rodney dramatically

"They mentioned a computer hacker in their employment but it would cut down on their expenses if we share information rather than hack it out of our computers" explains Caldwell.

"Aren't there precautions to prevent anyone hacking into the SGC computer network?" asks Sheppard

"Well obviously" starts Rodney who teeters of and looks around lamely

Ignoring Rodney Caldwell continues "the problem is we have the latest in computer technology safe guarding the SGC files and we didn't even notice we were been hacked the only precaution we can take would be to stop using computers and that option isn't viable unless you want to step back into the stone age"

"So were giving them what they want" states Weir

"Basically yes" answers Caldwell

"Soo what troops have they sent us?" asks Sheppard a grin plastered against his face

"A sergeant, Corporal, Lance Corporal and several privates oh and a scientist"

Rodney perks up "a scientist?"

"She'll probably be on the UNIT team" replies Caldwell

"What name" Rodney demands to know

"It's in the data file that was transmitted to Atlantis when we arrived"

Rodney opens up his laptop and gets to work on the files before stopping

"Gwendolyn Harper" looks up confused

Sheppard leans over his shoulder "she's Welsh" he notes

Rodney shoots him an annoyed stare "I was just getting to that" he continues scrolling through the data "Physicist, chemist, medical degree" does a double takes "a PHD in Criminal psychology! I mean what's the use of that here?" he complains

"Rodney we can discuss your…problems with the new scientists once they have been introduced" Weir reprimands him "I can see no problem with having a UNIT team here"

Sheppard looks like he's going to object but before he can Weir continues

"But I suggest that for their first missions they should tag along with SGA1 to give them practical experience now if that was all Colonel"

Caldwell nods, Weir stands and following her example John, Rodney and Caldwell also stand

"I must return to my ship" states Caldwell who stalks out of the room

John and Rodney take no notice and leave while arguing about the 'limey' troops who don't have a clue about what there playing at (Sheppard's phraseology) while Rodney's still snarking about the PHD in criminal psychology


	4. Atlantis tour

4) Atlantis tour

4) Atlantis tour

**Military continent**

"And this" looks around proudly "is the jumper bay" says Lorne who is leading the tour "puddle jumpers" indicates nearest 'jumper "can fit through the stargate, they have a cloaking device, initial dampeners so you feel no G's and can fire drone weapons – but they can only be used by someone who posses the ancient gene"

The soldiers look impressed and the tour continues

"You will be familiarised with the jumpers later for now we have the armoury and home made target range" they enter the armoury

""e have standard P-90's, pistols, bazooka's and grenades plus something we've picked up from this galaxy a Wraith stunner" lifts up a Wraith stunner to demonstrate how to hold it and fires "these only ever stun the same as the stun pistols" picks up a stun pistol and demonstrates how to fire "when used on a Wraith it'll probably take 2 or more shots to neutralise it however"

"Sounds nasty" comments a UNIT grunt

"They are even the SGC veterans agree on that" states Lorne

"I'm sure we can handle 'em" pipes up another UNIT grunt

However the UNIT Sergeant speaks up as the voice of reason "maybe, we'll have to see"

**Scientific continent **

(Lead by Zelinka but with a commentary from McKay)

"And this is the main lab if you need help or advice then" Radek is interrupted by Rodney commentary on the tape player "now we should have reached the main lab I can usually be found here so if you kindergarten dropouts need someone to hold your hand or if you screw up and can't fix your mistakes come here"

The new scientists are clearly unhappy with the voice over

"Next to the main lab are several smaller labs Lab 1 to 15 you may be assigned to one of those labs or in some 'Special case's' (you could hear the air quotation marks) be given a personal lab and that brings me to my 123rd warning" Radek wasn't sure what surprised the newbie's more the fact that not half an hour into the tour Rodney had already given a hundred warnings or that he had kept an exact count of the number of warnings "Personal Lab 13 avoid it like the plague or alternatively carry a crucifix and hum a prayer when you go near it"

Another scientist approaches the tour group and smirks as he sees the tape Zelinka pauses the tape

"Ahh his royal lordship the supreme chief and arch commander over all he sees and some of what he doesn't Doctor McKay unable to show round the newbies then?" asks the scientist grinning

"He ordered me to take the tour" says Radek warily the quirkiness of some of his colleagues humour never ceases to amaze him "so he called on me with no consideration for any work I might have been doing" Zelinka says obviously annoyed by that

"When his Master calls McKays humble servant Igor comes running" laughs another scientist nastily Zelinka is furious at the speaker of that comment

"It's McKay who should be humble" sneered a hook nosed scientist with a ponytail

Radek remains silent and rewinds the tape

"Did he sign the consent forms for the equipment I requested?" Kavanagh asks or rather demands for Radek to tell him "if I don't get the proper equipment this time I will have wasted a month of my time preparing for the experiment when I could have been twiddling my thumbs and relaxing"

Radek has finished rewinding and presses play

"Given a personal lab and that brings me to my 123rd warning" some of the newbies wonder if the tape players speakers were upgraded to reach that volume the 'veterans' know that McKays voice is always that loud, real life or recorded it makes no difference "Personal Lab 13 avoid it like the plague"

Kavanagh initially angry at been ignored by Radek realises what Rodney is talking about and is furious

"Or" continued Rodney oblivious when he recorded the tape that it would be played in front of the subject of his conversation (be fair would he have cared if he knew anyway? I mean would he really? I doubt it) "alternatively carry a crucifix and hum a prayer when you go near it"

"The reason will become apparent after you have met the most evil and despicably twisted creature in the whole of creation no not the Wraith and you can forget the Goa'uld, the replicators are mere Lego creations compared to him cos in the Pegasus galaxy the worst form of life we have yet discovered is more closely related to a baboon than most and migrated to Pegasus during the original expedition, it will answer to the name if it deems the matter worthy of its attention or if you shout long and loud enough that is to Calvin Kavanagh or Doctor Kavanagh but don't be fooled (slyly) because that is just a cunning disguise like that alien who took on a form of a marine SG-1 encountered, we have unfortunately yet to unmask the cretin and until we do he must be considered a danger to everyone around him when working on any low to high level technology and a danger to himself all the time"

There is a significant pause where Radek turns the tape player off

Coolly Radek states "I think the equipment you want is been delivered to your lab"

Kavanagh is completely thrown before he comes to his senses, turns beetroot red and looking most alarmingly like he is about to explode (this causes several scientists to back away or strategically placing walls and desks and ancient doohickeys in between them and Kavanagh) even Radek steps back a flash of worry on his face

"I'm going to find Dr.Weir" declares Kavanagh finally he moves towards Radek threateningly "I'm going to complain about McKay and I'm going to complain about you!" he snarls while snatching the tape player "and I'm taking this as evidence" he strides out


	5. Middle of the Tour

3) Discussion

3) Discussion

"The UN has been informed of the Stargate program" declares Caldwell

"Good for them" states Sheppard looks around "how are they taking it?"

"Does this effect us?" Weir asks him

"Not exactly" replies Caldwell "we've been given some support of some UNIT soldiers but the UN is not going tom interfere in the SGC or Atlantis"

"Excuse me for stating the obvious but United Nations? Aren't they going to make the Stargate public knowledge?" asks Rodney pointedly

"I don't think they are Rodney" replies Weir quietly

"That's correct they won't disclose the Stargate program" confirms Caldwell

"What's the catch" a suspicious Sheppard asks

"There isn't one unless you count the supply of UNIT soldiers, it seems already knew about the Stargate they found out about it years ago" declares Caldwell

"They knew? But why aren't they doing anything" demands Rodney

"They've promised not to disclose the Stargate to the public as long as we don't interfere or disclose UNIT to the public" answers Caldwell

Rodney and John are confused

"Apparently UNIT Created in 1967 its an anti-alien taskforce setup after an alien invasion in London" explains Caldwell

To Weir "you knew" accuses Sheppard

Weir smiles "yes I did"

Rodney realises "you worked for them didn't you?"

"Yes I've worked for the United Nations but I hadn't encountered Aliens during it"

"What were you doing?" Caldwell asks bluntly

Peers at him "not that it's any of your business but I negotiated a UN peace treaty UNIT doesn't just handle Aliens" Weir explains

"But you were told of Aliens" asks Sheppard

"Yes but I never really believed it until I joined the Stargate Program" Weir replies

"So are UNIT taking over?" asks Rodney "I mean is the Stargate program been controlled by the UN now?"

"Rodney you have the attention span of a nat Colonel Caldwell already said they wouldn't be interfering in the Stargate program" sighs Sheppard

"They've asked to be kept informed of the Stargate programs status" declares Caldwell

"What about the UNIT troops we've received?" demands Sheppard

"Since the Russians have an SG team UNIT asked for a British UNIT team at the SGC and Atlantis" replies Caldwell

"So they were told of Atlantis" asks Rodney

"We were going to tell them but they made the suggestion first" Caldwell states "as I said they already knew"

"You said they found out about the Stargate Program years ago" muses Weir

"Yes how do they know about it is there a informer in the SGC or something?" asks Rodney dramatically

"They mentioned a computer hacker in their employment but it would cut down on their expenses if we share information rather than hack it out of our computers" explains Caldwell.

"Aren't there precautions to prevent anyone hacking into the SGC computer network?" asks Sheppard

"Well obviously" starts Rodney who teeters of and looks around lamely

Ignoring Rodney Caldwell continues "the problem is we have the latest in computer technology safe guarding the SGC files and we didn't even notice we were been hacked the only precaution we can take would be to stop using computers and that option isn't viable unless you want to step back into the stone age"

"So were giving them what they want" states Weir

"Basically yes" answers Caldwell

"Soo what troops have they sent us?" asks Sheppard a grin plastered against his face

"A sergeant, Corporal, Lance Corporal and several privates oh and a scientist"

Rodney perks up "a scientist?"

"She'll probably be on the UNIT team" replies Caldwell

"What name" Rodney demands to know

"It's in the data file that was transmitted to Atlantis when we arrived"

Rodney opens up his laptop and gets to work on the files before stopping

"Gwendolyn Harper" looks up confused

Sheppard leans over his shoulder "she's Welsh" he notes

Rodney shoots him an annoyed stare "I was just getting to that" he continues scrolling through the data "Physicist, chemist, medical degree" does a double takes "a PHD in Criminal psychology! I mean what's the use of that here?" he complains

"Rodney we can discuss your…problems with the new scientists once they have been introduced" Weir reprimands him "I can see no problem with having a UNIT team here"

Sheppard looks like he's going to object but before he can Weir continues

"But I suggest that for their first missions they should tag along with SGA1 to give them practical experience now if that was all Colonel"

Caldwell nods, Weir stands and following her example John, Rodney and Caldwell also stand

"I must return to my ship" states Caldwell who stalks out of the room

John and Rodney take no notice and leave while arguing about the 'limey' troops who don't have a clue about what there playing at (Sheppard's phraseology) while Rodney's still snarking about the PHD in criminal psychology


	6. End of the tour

End of the tour

End of the tour

"What's she done now?" moans Sergeant Wing

Lorne turns to Sergeant Wing "you know anything about this?" he asks him

"Only that Gwen's involved and that's bad news"

(What happened you're asking – well I was trying to save time but if you must know)

Kavanagh left the main lab to see Doctor Weir and snitch on Rodney (BOOOO)

Zelinka with the newbie's in tow run after him to try and stall him giving the other scientists time to come up with a way to get the tape from him that holds incriminating evidence against Rodney

If that tape reaches Doctor Weir it will be very bad for Rodney as he will get into trouble (and probably assigned to training for offworld missions you know macho stuff or have his shiny Ancient toys taken away from him)

(and now this is where we left off from when the science tour ended)

The occupants of Atlantis weren't surprised to see Kavanagh storming through the corridors of Atlantis Towards Weirs office with an air of fury about him.

But they were surprised to see Radek 20 seconds later running in the same direction with a bunch of confused newbie's trailing behind him struggling to keep up

The whole of Atlantis did what any right minded, self respecting colony in another galaxy would do in the circumstances they ignored it and pretended they had business elsewhere

(Well would you want to risk pissing of Radek, well anymore than he already is anyway after all lets exam the facts 1) Despite been a practical joke connoisseur he is a nice guy who everyone likes, 2) He is a practical joker and an engineer put those together and what do you get? Well if you piss him off no hot water in the showers for a month that's what 3) He runs the still in Atlantis do you want your only source of alcohol apart from the Deadalus rum running operation mad at you? 4) And finally it's to do with Kavanagh would anyone want to get involved in a matter that includes him? now to continue with the story)

Radek into coms "Miko get Rodney to Weir's office now!"

Doctor Kusanagi over coms "Doctor McKay you are needed in Doctor Weir's office immediately"

McKay and Sheppard who had really begain to get into their discussion about the disadvantages of having a PHD in forensic science in another galaxy and the uselessness of Limey soldiers are forced to drop the topic and double back thinking it's an emergency. They reach the gate room just after Kavanagh who storms into Weirs office exchanging glances they hurry after him

"I Demand you Deal with McKay" snarls Kavanagh spitting out the word McKay

Rodney doesn't know what this is about since as far as he's aware he hasn't done anything to antagonise Kavanagh (well recently anyway)

"Oh please" scoffs Rodney

Kavanagh turns round and shoots McKay with a venomous glare which even Sheppard backs away from but McKay stands firm not letting it intimidate him.

A twitch develops in Kavanagh's right eye

Then as if trying to relieve the tension Radek arrives with the newbie's and crowds into Weirs office causing all hell to break lose despite Weir and Sheppard's attempts to quieten things down Rodney isn't very helpful as he's engaged in a shouting match with Kavanagh Radek is trying to explain at the top of his voice but as its in his native language no one can understand a word, and the newbies are also upset and complaining

(well lets just say this is where the military contiment arrives and leave it at that for now)

Next time

Order is brought upon Weirs office cortiousy of a bunch of armed marines and Gwen tries to kill Kavanagh Oh and before I forget Sergeant Wing shoots Kavanagh


	7. Order and justice

Order and justice

Order and justice

Radek is trying to explain to Rodney what happened but his efforts are impeded by Rodney's shouting match with Kavanagh

Meanwhile Sheppard and Weir try to restore order with no success, and the newbie's who have been crowded into Weirs office with everyone are complaining and talking at the same time

And this is the situation when Lorne and the marines arrive

"Is it always like this?" asks Sergeant Wing

"This is quite day" offers Lorne

"That ponytail bloke" he winces "his voice could peel paint" says the UNIT Corporal.

Lorne agrees "all you have to do to keep the subordinates in check is threaten guard duty outside Kavanagh's lab"

Wing nods thoughtfully "UNIT doesn't have that many scientists there was one" smiles "UNIT's scientific adviser but he's sort of semi-retired now tell you what I'll handle Gwen if you take the rest deal?"

"Fine" says Lorne

It may be a surprise to note then again it might not but no one paid any attention when several soldiers waving guns about burst into the room however Lorne half expected this and with a thought opens the door to the balcony he then fires through it and into the open air

Silence now reigns everyone is looking at Lorne

"Thank you Major" sighs Dr Weir who sits down at her desk "now can someone please tell me what's going on" before anyone can speak she adds "one at a time"

Kavanagh speaks first "McKay has been extremely offensive to me and has degraded both me and my abilities in front of the new scientists"

Weir turns to Rodney who shrugs innocently she still stares at him

"Oh come on I was with Sheppard the whole time the last and only time I spoke to Kavanagh in front of the newbie's was five minutes ago" defends McKay

"and" speaks up Radek "Dr Kavanagh stole my tape" indicates tape player

Meanwhile unnoticed by everyone in Weirs office everyone in the Gateroom started unplugging laptops and powering down computers, after receiving several calls over the coms from the science department

While no one noticed this Kavanagh defended himself

"This tape is evidence it shows McKay in his true light as an arrogant bully" declares Kavanagh who presses play but all the tape player emits is static

A voice calls from the Gateroom "Doctor Weir an EMP generator overloaded due to an advanced warning we were able to power down virtually everything of vital importance but their could be some loss of computer memory around Atlantis"

Kavanagh is furious "why you…" he begins

But Rodney cuts him off "Radek? Is that my newbie training tape?"

Radek pushes his glasses up and answers "well yes"

"Oh good" replies McKay with fake enthusiasm "so those morons posing as scientists just erased my tape do you know how many hours of my precious time it took to record it? It took hours and they erased it in seconds" looks at Radek "they will suffer for this but on the upside I am now free to finish of the tour" gives a beaming smile "where were you at?"

"Don't ignore me" snarls Kavanagh "you planned this" shakes tape player

"If you have a complaint send me an E-mail I'm busy at the newbie's at present but as soon as I'm free in a month or so I will take great pleasure in deleting it"

"Forget the dammed newbie's, there all midioka anyway why earth has to send us these brain dead geeks who think knowing every episode of star trek by heart and having seen all 6 star wars films is a good enough qualification to herald the title of scientist" rants Kavanagh

One of the scientists a young black haired woman with a strange not quite English accent steps forward "are you saying I haven't got any qualifications to be here?" she asks

"God and their thick as well" moans Kavanagh

Sergeant Wing is looking worried now "uh Gwen can I have a w…"

Gwen jumps on Kavanagh and seems intent on strangling him "…ord" Wing finishes and sighs Kavanagh seems to be squealing and struggling and is in dire danger of having his windpipe crushed

Sheppard looks around the scientists seem torn between horror and vengeance, the marines seemed reluctant to interrupt a dispute between scientists and Rodney and Radek were no help Sheppard could swear he heard one of them muttering "fight" "fight" "fight" but in the confusion is unsure which one of them is doing the muttering

A stab of green light hits both Kavanagh and Gwen they both collapse onto the floor unconscious

Everyone turns to look at Winger who is holding a small device (the emitter of the green ray) in his right hand. Winger realises that he's now the center of attention

"I prefer him unconscious" he says referring to Kavanagh

"What is that?" asks Sheppard impressed

'Traken stun pistle non-lethal, very rare now that Traken no longer exists'

"How come you have one?" asks Doctor McKay

Shrugs "you'd be surprised, the sort of junk that ends up on Earth"

Weir comes to a decision "Remove Kavanagh have him taken to the infirmary and Rodney could you please get these scientists out of my office"

"Will do" to Radek "come on, you can show me where you left off" the scientists leave

"Lorne" continues Weir "after dropping Kavanagh of at the infirmary isn't their some training these marines can be doing or something?" The marines leave taking Kavanagh with them

"What about her" Sheppard asks indicating Gwen

"Well lets remove her" says Winger cheerfully "she'll be fine in an hour"

Sheppard and wing remove the unconscious scientist from Weirs office Dr Weir sighs in relief as her office is finally peaceful


End file.
